


Gesundheit

by Enk



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 08:51:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enk/pseuds/Enk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious case of the flu infects the Avengers one by one, 'fun' times ensue</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gesundheit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Paraprosdokia (ChangeableConsistency)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeableConsistency/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Flu Season](https://archiveofourown.org/works/608324) by [Paraprosdokia (ChangeableConsistency)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeableConsistency/pseuds/Paraprosdokia). 



It's Clint who starts it. Tony knows despite the continuous protestations from Clint. He remembers it clearly. One day, a mundane, by-the-books mission to foil yet another of Loki's- slowly getting annoying- plans to 'take over' New York, the world, whatever the hell it is he's after on any given day. Who knows. Point is, after that mission three days ago, Clint sneezed, several times. He's Patient Zero, whether he wants to admit it or not.

 

"It wasn't me." Clint's nasal voice comes from the bed beside Tony. "Stop blaming me inside your hea-" His words are interrupted by a coughing fit epic enough to make him sit up with tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

 

"It was you." Tony would point, but his arms are like lead so he settles for a raised eyebrow and a poignant look. At least he hopes that's what it looks like. He's probably grimacing. Really, he doesn't even care. He just wants to sleep, but Clint's coughing starts up the moment he is close to drifting off. "S'okay, Bruce'll figureitout." He closes his eyes and rests to Clint's wheezing.

 

Supposedly, this is only a mild case of the flu. It doesn't feel mild. In fact, it feels like someone is sitting on his chest. Tony knows his future is going to be Clint's wheezing and coughing. He is patient number two after all. Should have never spent that night drinking with Clint and waking up tangled on the couch with him, all clothes still on thankfully. Sleeping with team mates is a line Tony tries not to cross more than once per team.

 

Natasha is patient number three. She skips the malaise and sniffles and goes straight to throwing up hard enough to crack two ribs. Once she is sick, Bruce suspects something may be up and quarantines all three of them in one of the currently empty lab storage rooms. Great. Between Clint's coughing and Natasha's dry-heaving, Tony is apparently never sleeping again. Not that he could, at this point breathing is so laborious he has to to concentrate. So he just lies there and stares at the ceiling tiles until he hear Bruce's voice swearing at him.

 

"God damn it," he pulls Tony upright, "you were supposed to tell me if you're feeling worse."

 

Tony mumbles something he thinks may be coherent. It must not have been because Bruce is giving him a lecture on why turning blue isn't a good thing, that he is too stubborn, but it is followed by the gentle hiss of an injection. Moments later, whatever's been sitting on his chest decides to get up and Tony takes a deep, finally relaxing breath.

 

"Thank you." He turns onto his side and finally, finally slips into a restful sleep.

  
  


***

  
  


"I am of Asgard!" Thor's protests raise Tony from his sleep not two hours later. "We do not succumb to such trivial illness."

 

"That's not what your blood work says, big guy." Bruce pushes him toward a new bed. "At least now we know what's wrong with all of you."

 

"Your science is wrong!" Thor tries to insist but his skin is ashen with the exception of a bright red nose.

 

"Well humour me, then." Bruce gently pushes Thor onto the bed. To Tony's surprise, Thor complies and curls up shivering under the sheets. Yep, he's got it bad.

 

They all do. Bruce doesn't clarify and leaves them quickly. Probably because he's trying to keep his exposure minimal. Hulk is probably immune but better safe than sorry in this case. They're probably dying of some crazy virus, Tony thinks as he can feel whatever Bruce gave him wear off slowly. Clint has stopped coughing for the time being and is sitting and quietly reading a book. Tony wishes his eyes would focus long enough to read, to do anything but stare at the ceiling and even then, moving his eyes is exhausting.

 

On the bed opposite of him, Natasha is staring at her hand.

 

"Everything all right?" Tony manages.

 

"Mhm?" She looks up at him, a little lopsided.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Hmmmm." Her mouth breaks into a grin. There's a bit of drool. And she goes back to staring at her hand.

 

"Anti-nauseants." Clint states. "She never takes anything. Even Benadryl cracks her out."

 

"At least she stopped throwing up."

 

"For now."

 

"Think we're dying?"

 

"Well if the god is sick, what hope is there for us?"

 

"Always the optimist."

 

"Too bad Cap isn’t here for the party." A smile creeps around Clint's face but only for a moment he begins to cough again. On his other side, Thor begins to sneeze.

 

"Oh great." Tony sits up slowly and just then, Natasha empties what little is left inside her stomach into her lap with a slightly disconcerting giggle.

 

"This isn't real." Tony falls back onto the pillows and closes his eyes. He tries to block out the coughing and sneezing and vomiting. If only he could get some rest. "This is hell."

 

"Is it, Mr. Stark?" A familiar, but unexpected voice startles Tony. He opens his eyes and finds himself in darkness. The others around him fast asleep with the exception of Loki, sitting at the foot of his bed.

 

"This is a dream." Tony sits up too fast and has to fight against the sudden vertigo. "I'm going to wake up now."

 

"Go ahead then." Loki smiles and too much of Tony's chagrin, he isn't waking up. "Not working? That's a pity. I guess I am really here after all."

 

"What do you want?"

 

"Now, now, I understand you are not well but that is no reason to be a rude host."

 

"Please," Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, "don't tell me you're behind all of this. Or do. Or kill us, whatever you came here for, just get it over with."

 

Loki chuckles. It's a soft noise unlike the maniacal laughter he usually sports during their battles. He doesn't look so power-crazed. In fact, he looks rather calm and without the armour, he really just looks like a regular guy. Would it be too much to ask his nemesis for a good night's sleep? Then, the world begins to swim and the weight settles back onto his chest.

 

“Do not worry.” Loki pats his leg. “It will pass in a day or two."

 

"Why?" Tony tries to sit up but he can't. "Is this really entertaining? How bored are you?"

 

"Oh you will see." Loki smiles and leans to brush an errant strand of hair from Tony's forehead. "But for now, rest." He places his hand on Tony's chest. "Sleep well, Mr. Stark."

 

A deep, dreamless sleep takes him before he can ask Loki more questions, before he can protest, before he can- he wakes with a start the next day feeling much better. Beside him, Clint is getting dressed. Natasha is eating breakfast like nothing happened, only Thor is still asleep.

 

"Looks like it's passed." Clint stretches. "I'll tell Banner to

 

"Yeah," Tony slips out of bed trying to figure out if Loki's late night visit had only been a dream.  He doesn't get far when there is a loud shattering noise and a shout from Clint. He and Nat are out of the room in moments.

 

"You okay, pal?" Tony looks around. No sign of Clint. There is another clang and from down the hall, Clint's voice is loud but calm. Natasha signals Tony to follow her silently. Maybe it had been Loki. Maybe he was here now. Maybe he put another wildebeest into the labs. Maybe- Tony's brain falls silent as his mouth falls slack when Natasha opens the door from which they had heard Clint's voice.

 

"This isn't happening." Natasha looks at Tony and then back at Clint who is holding a tablecloth out at Hulk and calmly continues to talk about nothing as he approaches the giant green ball of sniffling and coughing misery.

 

Tony shouts as he's thrown back when Hulk sneezes hard and takes out half the wall behind him.

  
"Damn it, Loki!"

**Author's Note:**

> "Gesundheit" is the German equivalent of "Bless you" or "God bless" when someone sneezes


End file.
